How to Foster a Love for Learning Without Rigid Structures
- Ajeeb Ajanmya
- Nov 23
- 16 min read
Table of contents
Introduction
Hey there! If you've ever felt like there’s more to learning than textbooks and tests, you’re in the right place. I'm Ajeeb Ajanmya, and I'm what you might call an "unschooler." Growing up, my education looked very different from the traditional model. There were no rigid schedules, no strict curriculum—just a lot of exploration, curiosity, and the freedom to follow my own interests. And let me tell you, it was an incredible journey.
As I reflect on my upbringing, I see the power of nurturing a love for learning without imposing structures that can sometimes stifle a child's natural enthusiasm. I know that as parents, you want your kids to thrive and to truly enjoy learning, not just endure it. So, I'm here to share some insights and experiences that might just shift your perspective on what education can be.
What if learning wasn't something confined to classrooms or specific hours? What if it was as natural as breathing, as inherent as our curiosity? For me, learning was always intertwined with life itself—planting seeds in the garden, observing animal behavior in the jungle, tinkering with gadgets just to see how they worked. It wasn't about passing exams; it was about understanding the world and my place in it.
I want to offer you a glimpse into that world, a world where curiosity drives the learning process and where every experience, big or small, holds the potential for discovery. Perhaps this perspective will help you see new possibilities for your own children's education.
In my unschooled life, success wasn't measured by grades but by the spark of joy and the depth of understanding. It was the thrill of figuring out how something worked, the satisfaction of creating something with my own hands, and the personal growth that came from following my passions. I learned to value persistence, curiosity, and connection—qualities that have served me far more than any report card ever could.
My hope is to help you see that your children are already capable, curious beings with an innate drive to learn. By trusting their inner compass and creating an environment that nurtures your child’s natural interests, you can help them develop a lifelong love for learning that goes far beyond traditional education.
So, what do you say? Are you ready to dive into a world that fosters a love for learning so deep that it sticks with them throughout their lives? Yes? then let’s first understand how to do so by reimagining what learning really means.
Reimagining What Learning Really Means
Learning is something which is natural, but often we associate it with solely strict methods and with a set curriculum. But what if we embrace learning as an organic part of everyday life? Let me share what I mean.
Embracing Learning as a Natural, Lifelong Flow
Learning was never something I had to switch on; it was just part of being alive. Whether I was helping plant seeds on the farm, exploring animal tracks in the jungle, or experimenting with something new out of sheer curiosity, learning flowed naturally through whatever I was drawn to. There was no start or end to it, no finish line or syllabus. That’s what made it stick because it mattered to me.
When we stop boxing learning into subjects and schedules, we begin to notice how every conversation, question, project, or mistake holds something to discover. Real learning doesn’t always look academic. It looks like making food together, asking “why” about the moon, or building a shelter from bamboo just to see if we can. When kids are trusted to explore life on their own terms, learning stops being a task, it becomes a way of seeing the world, one they carry with them forever.
When you step back from structure and embrace learning to flow naturally, something beautiful emerges—curiosity. But what happens when we let curiosity lead the way, instead of leading with pre-planned lessons?
Honoring Curiosity Over Curriculum
When curiosity leads, learning becomes electric. I was never handed a lesson plan, I was handed space. Space to go through the jungle, space to sit for hours watching birds, or to take apart gadgets just to see how they worked. Nobody told me what to be curious about. That’s what made it real. My questions weren’t boxed into subjects they spilled into life.
One day it was understanding how bamboo could turn into a house frame in Maharashtra, another day it was trying to understand why a certain animal moved the way it did. When adults trust a child’s curiosity instead of constantly steering it, something shifts—kids stay lit up. They want to keep exploring. And through that spark, they end up learning more deeply and broadly than any rigid curriculum could ever promise. It’s not about teaching everything, it's about not dimming the desire to know.
So, when curiosity leads the way it creates a spark and that pushes them to learn by themselves. But this is not the only thing, when you choose curiosity over curriculum; you don’t just redefine learning, but you are also expanding your definition of success, as well. How is that possible? Well, keep reading to find out.
Redefining Success in a Playful Learning Journey
Success wasn’t a certificate on the wall, it was the feeling of coming alive. It was in the muddy hands after planting something new, the thrill of spotting an animal I'd never seen before, or the quiet pride after climbing a mountain or baking something without help.
In a world that measured achievement in grades and gold stars, my world measured it in wonder, joy, and emotional growth. I learned to value persistence, curiosity, and connection; not just outcomes. No one clapped for me when I built a bamboo structure or spent hours figuring out animal behavior, but I didn’t need applause. I felt it in my bones that what I was doing mattered. Redefining success this way meant I never needed to chase it. It grew from the inside out.
By redefining success, we create a space where learning thrives for the love of life, for that feeling of being alive and connected. But for this to actually take place, we must take into account the environment which has the potential to nurture success. How can we create an environment where this attitude thrives? An environment that sparks exploration? Well, keep reading to find out.
Creating Environments that Spark Exploration
Let’s dive into something exciting—crafting the spaces where learning comes alive. Growing up, our home was an environment that quietly invited discovery and wonder, there was no pressure or expectation. Let me explain how.
Designing Invitation-Rich Spaces at Home
Our whole house was space, not just a corner or table. Every room, every open floor, was part of my world of play and work. I wasn’t nudged toward gadgets or apps, but toward what felt real and alive.
Sometimes I’d be deep in clay, shaping something for hours. Other times, I was on the floor building entire cities out of scrap Legos or scribbling out imagined worlds with crayons and paper. I’d run around pretending to be a superhero, completely lost in my own world, role-playing stories that unfolded in my head.
There wasn’t a separation between learning and playing; they were the same thing, flowing through the spaces that felt like mine. The environment itself told me—you’re free to create here.
You see, creating a space isn't about fancy equipment or furniture but a space which allows creativity to flourish, where your child has the freedom to create. And what truly fuels that freedom? I’d say, It’s often the simplest materials that open the biggest doors. In what way? Well keep reading.
The Power of Accessible and Open-Ended Materials
Old spoons, scrap cloth, torn cartons, or leftover clay—none of it felt like junk to me. These were my tools, my props, my inventions waiting to happen. I didn't need fancy supplies to learn or create.
A single cardboard box could become a cave, a creature, or a castle. Clay turned into bowls or snakes or whatever I imagined that day. Even a leaf or stick found on a walk could spark a whole new story.
What made these materials powerful wasn’t their cost, it was that they were open-ended, accessible, and mine to shape. They didn’t come with instructions, only possibilities. And that gave me the freedom to dive deep, follow my curiosity, and stay with something for as long as it lit me up.
Learning doesn’t mean you need the fanciest things or the most expensive gadgets, rather it needs the freedom to follow your curiosity to keep that spark alive. Another important factor is keeping that natural rhythm alive, so how can you honor your child’s natural rhythm?
Tuning into a Child’s Energy, Not the Clock
Growing up, there were a lot of things that I wanted to do, and the best part? I got to build my own rhythm. No one told me, “Time’s up,” just as I was getting into something. I could follow where my energy went, sometimes sprinting into a new idea, sometimes just sitting quietly, touching clay or watching ants for ages. I wasn’t rushed to shift gears when I wasn’t ready or forced to stay when my energy had clearly moved on.
That kind of trust in my rhythm helped me listen to myself better too. If I was excited, I knew it was time to go all in. If I was tired, I knew it was okay to pause. Learning wasn’t scheduled, it was alive, always responding to what I felt ready for. That freedom made it joyful, not a task to tick off.
This not only helped me develop my own rhythm, but it also helped me to listen to myself better and trust myself better. However, this trust doesn’t end here, no. What really makes a difference is, you, the parent, trusting your child’s inner compass as well.
Trusting the Child’s Inner Compass
Have you ever wondered, what happens when we stop trying to shape our children and trust them for who they already are? Well, then let’s start with understanding what exactly it is that changes when we truly believe that children are driven to understand the world around them. So keep reading.
Seeing Children as Capable, Curious Beings
I don’t remember being told what I had to learn, I remember being trusted to explore what lit me up. Whether it was trying to find snakes in the jungle, asking endless questions about why cows chewed their food twice, or experimenting with sticks and mud to build something, the message was always—you’re capable of figuring this out. That trust shaped how I saw myself.
I didn’t wait for someone to teach me. I started by looking, poking, trying. When adults see children as curious beings already wired for discovery, everything changes. The adult becomes a companion, not a controller. And the child grows not just in knowledge, but in confidence, ownership, and joy through the process.
When you start from a place of trust, you not only shift how you see your children, but how you relate to them. Trust becomes the thing that ties up curiosity to connection, making space for a deeper presence. So how do we hold that presence while stepping back from control? Well, to find out, keep reading.
Maintaining Relationships While Relinquishing Control
Letting go of control doesn’t mean letting go of connection. In my home, my parents didn’t track what I was learning every moment, but they were present. They listened to my long rambles about lizards or dreams I had at night. They watched me, not to manage or correct, but just to see me. That presence built trust.
I wasn’t learning for them; I was sharing my learning with them. They didn’t need to lead the journey to still walk beside me. That balance of not interfering yet still deeply caring, made space for a real relationship to grow—not one built on checking boxes, but on mutual curiosity, warmth, and respect.
You see, connection thrives in active listening with care, mutual curiosity, and attention. When children feel seen and understood instead of forced to check boxes, their inner world opens up. And in that openness, questions begin to bloom, questions that need not be answered, but valued. How does that work? Well let me explain.
Celebrating the Questions, Not Just the Answers
In my unschooling experience, questions were always more important than answers. I remember asking endless questions about everything from the way the clouds moved to why snakes had no legs. Instead of rushing to give me an answer, my parents often invited me to keep asking, to dig deeper. It wasn’t about getting everything ‘right’, it was about being curious.
By valuing the process of questioning over simply knowing the answers, they gave me the space to be endlessly curious, without fear of being wrong. This approach made learning feel like an adventure, not a test. My questions became the spark for exploration, and that deepened my love for learning in ways no “right” answer ever could.
When curiosity takes center stage, learning becomes a joyful, lifelong adventure, and it is in that spirit of adventure that we find some of the richest experiences come not through instruction but through shared experience, connection, and play. Let’s explore this further.
Learning Through Relationship and Play
Learning doesn’t need to be a classroom—it needs something magical! Something like connection. To build that, I present you with something called “co-learning”. So, keep reading and I’ll tell you what happens when you learn with your child, rather than just teaching them.
Co-Learning as a Pathway to Connection
When you learn alongside your child instead of just teaching them, something magical happens. The boundaries of authority dissolve, and both parent and child become learners, exploring together. I’ve seen this firsthand, from cooking in the kitchen to discussing the behavior of animals or creating something from scratch. It’s in those moments of mutual discovery that a deep connection forms.
There’s no pressure to know it all, no rushing toward the “right” answer. Instead, there’s space for curiosity to flourish, where questions lead the way and trial-and-error becomes part of the process. This kind of shared learning brings us closer, allowing both parent and child to see each other not through a lens of authority but as partners in a journey of growth. It’s in this co-learning that we not only teach knowledge but also empathy, collaboration, and the joy of discovery.
Through shared learning, we rediscover the inherent nature of learning—a journey interwoven with connection, curiosity, and collaboration. But there's more. Imagine a hidden map on this journey, simple yet capable of revealing complex understanding and emotional insight. This map exists in the unassuming realm of unstructured play. Let me show you.
The Hidden Wisdom Inside Everyday Play
Unstructured play holds a quiet wisdom that often goes unnoticed when we rush through the day. Whether it’s me creating a world of superheroes in my mind, assembling a city from random Lego pieces, or simply wandering the jungle and observing animals, play has always been more than just fun. It’s been a way to explore, to problem-solve, and to understand my emotions.
In those moments, there’s no agenda, no goal; just pure exploration and connection to the present. As I slowed down and allowed myself to truly experience these moments of play, I realized that the stories, the experiments, the quiet reflection all revealed deeper truths about myself and the world. Unstructured play is where we make sense of our thoughts and feelings, process what we experience, and learn to engage with the world in a way that no structured lesson could offer.
When we truly see play, we recognize it not just as a break from learning but as a powerful and integral way to learn. Looking closer, play isn’t merely a tool; it’s a child’s inherent way of processing experiences and expressing themselves—truly, the sacred language of learning. Keep reading to find out what I mean.
Play as a Sacred Language of Learning
Play wasn’t just a way to pass time, it was my way of creating, experimenting, and understanding life. Whether I was building intricate structures with whatever I found or simply imagining myself in superhero scenarios, my mind was always active, discovering and testing new possibilities. I remember feeling the excitement of mixing ingredients in the kitchen, not just to cook, but to explore textures, tastes, and the process itself.
When I used ice cream sticks to fix a broken remote car, it wasn’t about making something work, it was about the joy of taking something broken and transforming it into something new. In all of these moments, play was my language for learning, for expressing ideas, and for gaining insight. It was in those quiet, creative moments that I was both challenged and inspired. Play allowed me to embrace both success and failure, and it taught me that learning is less about the destination and more about the journey.
Play teaches us to trust the process, not just the outcomes. But, what happens when that process doesn’t look like the standard, structured process? How do we hold space for growth when it exists in expectation of structure and discipline? Well, keep reading to find out.
Dismantling the Myths of Structure and Discipline
We’ve been taught to measure learning with checklists, clocks, and comparisons. But what if real growth doesn’t always look like progress? What if the most meaningful learning happens in the pauses, the play, the wandering off-course?
Let’s talk about the myth of “falling behind”—and why letting it go might be the most liberating step in your learning journey.
The Myth of “Falling Behind” in Unstructured Learning
In my world, there was no “behind.” There was just life happening—climbing trees, baking cookies, playing online games, fixing things with scrap, and watching ants do their work. I didn’t follow a timetable; I followed what made me curious. While others were chasing grades, I was chasing snakes, recipes, bamboo structures, or how to calm my mind.
People sometimes asked if I was falling behind. Behind what? I was building something they couldn’t see—a deep understanding of myself, of the world and of how to learn. When learning isn’t measured by a clock or curriculum, it grows in every direction, not just in straight lines. That’s not “behind”, that's freedom.
When we let go of the idea of “behind”, we in turn are catching hold of our freedom, seeing learning for what it truly is—fluid, self paced, and deeply personal. But even then, can we stay grounded when learning unfolds slowly or looks like nothing at all? Read on, and I’ll explain.
Trusting Growth That Doesn’t Always Look Like Progress
Not everything I learned had a final product, a certificate, or a neat explanation. Sometimes it looked like me lying on the ground watching how an insect moved or spending hours building a bamboo structure that eventually collapsed or going silent for weeks while something inside me shifted.
From the outside, it might’ve looked like “nothing.” But I was growing roots, inner strength, patience, and trust in myself. Real learning isn’t always visible. It brews deep like dough rising quietly. When we stop needing constant proof of progress, we start seeing the magic in the mess, the pauses, the invisible becoming visible in its own time.
Sometimes, the beauty of learning lies in its mystery. It may ask us to trust what we can’t see yet. But in cultivating that trust you build something even bigger—A family culture that celebrates wonder, exploration and lifelong curiosity. Let me explain how.
Cultivating a Family Culture of Wonder
Wonder isn’t taught; it’s caught. It thrives in the spark of a question, the inquisitive tilt of a head, the shared joy of discovery. In a home where wonder is not only welcomed but cultivated, learning naturally transforms into a shared adventure.
So how do we weave more of this wonder into our daily lives? What if I told you it starts with you—the adult—setting the tone. To see how, you’ll just have to do one thing: keep reading.
Modeling Curiosity and Growth as Parents
The way we move through the world teaches more than words ever can. When children see us light up at learning something new, laugh when we mess up, or get curious instead of frustrated, they absorb that spirit. I watched my mom build herself up from tough times, turning cooking into craft and movement into magic.
From my father, I learned that extreme curiosity can mean experimenting with hundreds of musical instruments, reading thousands of books, and meeting people from all walks of life. Their paths weren’t perfect, but they were alive. That aliveness passed on to me not through lectures, but through presence.
When we model joy in not knowing, and excitement in figuring things out, children don’t just learn, they become learners for life.
Your children don't need perfect role models, but present ones. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can offer is not a lesson but an invitation to wander right alongside you. So how do we weave that wonder in the daily rhythms of daily life? Let’s explore further.
Building Rituals of Shared Discovery
Some of our most meaningful moments weren’t planned lessons; they were tiny rituals we built around curiosity. Like baking without a recipe and discovering new tastes together, or stargazing while guessing constellations, or pausing a walk to talk about the weird patterns ants make.
These weren’t grand events, just recurring sparks of shared attention. We didn’t need a textbook to turn life into a classroom, we just needed to show up with each other. The ritual wasn’t in what we did, but in doing it together, again and again, until wonder became part of our family rhythm. And with that, we’ve come to the conclusion.
Conclusion
We've journeyed together in this blog on How to Foster a Love for Learning Without Rigid Structures through a different way of looking at learning, one that doesn't rely on rigid structures but instead, trusts the inherent curiosity and capability of each individual. This journey wasn't just about techniques; it was about shifting our perspectives, trusting ourselves and the children around us, and recognizing the magic that happens when learning is allowed to unfold naturally.
In the spirit of reflection, let's recap some key takeaways from our adventure:
Learning is a Natural, Lifelong Flow: Learning isn't something we turn on and off; it’s an integral part of life. Embracing learning as a natural flow means noticing and valuing every conversation, question, project, or mistake as a potential moment of discovery. It's about letting learning be intertwined with everyday life, just like planting seeds, observing animals, or tinkering with gadgets—all because it matters to the individual.
Invitation-Rich Spaces Foster Creativity: Creating spaces that encourage exploration isn't about fancy equipment but about allowing freedom and access to simple, open-ended materials. These spaces should invite children to create, play, and explore without pressure or expectation. It's about transforming your home into an environment where imagination thrives and learning naturally unfolds through experience.
Children are Capable, Curious Beings: Trusting a child’s inner compass begins with seeing them as capable and curious individuals already wired for discovery. When we see children as capable, we step back from controlling and become companions in their learning journey. This trust builds their confidence, ownership, and joy in the process, allowing them to explore what truly lights them up.
Co-Learning Deepens Connection: Learning alongside a child transforms the dynamic from teaching to co-discovery. In co-learning, boundaries of authority dissolve as both parent and child explore together. This shared experience creates a deeper connection built on mutual curiosity and partnership. It’s about engaging in activities together, allowing questions and trial-and-error to be part of the journey, and teaching empathy and collaboration along the way.
Letting Go of the “Falling Behind” Myth Unlocks Freedom: The idea of "falling behind" often restricts natural learning and growth. When we let go of this myth, we embrace the idea that learning can grow in every direction, not just in a straight line. It means trusting that even activities that don't look like progress—like watching insects or building something that collapses—are valuable learning experiences that build a deep understanding and self-trust.
Model Curiosity and Growth to Ignite a Spark: Parents model more than they teach. When children see adults light up at learning something new, laugh at mistakes, or get curious instead of frustrated, they absorb that spirit. Modeling joy in not knowing and excitement in figuring things out transforms children into lifelong learners. Creating small, meaningful rituals of shared discovery further weaves wonder into the fabric of family life.
If you’re intrigued by my journey, and are looking for more insight on journeys as such, I even co-authored a book along with 4 more amazing co-authors, Parenting with a Smile: A journey into playful living. This book shares our journeys with perspectives on parenting and life. It also speaks about the C12—12 qualities like Compassion, Clarity, Confidence, Celebration, etc—that we believe nurture not only children, but parents as well.
Ultimately, fostering a love for learning without rigid structures is about honoring each individual's unique journey. It's about creating environments where curiosity is celebrated, questions are valued, and the joy of discovery is a shared experience. As you embrace this, you’ll find that learning becomes a lifelong adventure—one that is both deeply personal and beautifully connected.
The blog is over but, since you’ve made it so far, thank you for joining me on this journey of discovery. I’d love to hear from you so, like, comment and share it with other parents! See you soon, goodnight.
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