⬅︎ Parenting Tips

💡 Praise your child when they’re not listening—it builds quiet confidence that sticks deeper.

✅ Benefits of Indirect Praise

• Reinforces self-worth without pressure or performance anxiety

• Makes praise feel more genuine and earned

• Boosts confidence through overheard validation

• Strengthens a child’s inner narrative and self-image

• Builds trust and emotional security

🧠 What Research Says

There’s something magical about overhearing someone say something kind about you—especially when you weren’t meant to hear it. It feels real. Not performative. Not sugarcoated. Just honest and glowing.

When children overhear their parents say, “He was so patient today at the dentist” or “She was so brave talking to her teacher,” it hits different. That praise feels like an observation, not an evaluation—which means they’re more likely to believe it.

Psychologists call this “indirect reinforcement.” The child internalizes the compliment more deeply because it doesn’t carry the weight of needing to please you in that moment. It builds what’s called intrinsic self-worth—the sense that “I am good, even when no one is watching.”

Plus, it activates their inner voice. The next time they face a challenge, that overheard praise might echo: You were brave last time—you’ve got this.

📖 A Parenting Anecdote

On a rainy evening in Kochi, the Mathews were huddled inside while power flickered and thunder rumbled like an overacting villain in a 90s film. Eight-year-old Neil had just finished setting the table for dinner, completely unasked. His mom, Lydia, smiled but didn’t say much. A few minutes later, while on the phone with her sister, she casually said, “Neil’s been so helpful today—even made sure the forks all pointed the same way!”

Unbeknownst to her, Neil was tiptoeing back from the kitchen and caught that line.

He didn’t say anything. But his little chest puffed out like a proud pigeon. That night, he offered to help with the dishes. The next morning, he made his bed without being told.

Lydia never once said, “Good job” to his face. But the overheard pride in her voice became his secret fuel.

Weeks later, when she asked why he was tidying his bookshelves without a prompt, Neil shrugged and said, “Just feels nice.” That’s the power of quiet praise—it becomes part of them.

💬 Final Thought

Not all encouragement needs a spotlight. Whispered praise, shared casually behind their back, can shine like a lighthouse in their growing sense of self.

Try it today: say something kind about your child to someone else—just loud enough to be “accidentally” heard.