⬅︎ Parenting Tips

💡Validate their feelings before correcting their behavior—connection comes before correction.

✅ Benefits of Emotional Validation in Discipline

• De-escalates tantrums and defiance by calming the child’s nervous system

• Teaches kids to identify and express emotions instead of acting them out

• Builds emotional intelligence and resilience

• Strengthens your bond by showing empathy during stressful moments

• Helps children feel safe, understood, and more willing to listen

🧠 What Research Says

Imagine you’re venting about a rough day and someone says, “Calm down.” Frustrating, right? Now imagine they say, “That sounds really hard—want to talk about it?” Totally different vibe.

Children have big feelings in small bodies. When they're upset, the emotional part of their brain is in the driver’s seat—and logic has left the building.

Telling them what they “shouldn’t” feel only fuels the fire. But when we name their feelings—“You seem really disappointed,” or “That made you feel left out”—it activates their thinking brain.

This act of validation doesn’t mean agreeing with the behavior. It means acknowledging the emotion behind it. And once kids feel seen, their defenses drop. They’re more open to redirection, problem-solving, or even a hug.

In the long run, validated children don’t just behave better—they feel better. And that’s the real win.

📖 A Parenting Anecdote

In bustling Andheri West, Mumbai, Nisha had just finished a long Zoom meeting when her daughter Diya, age five, burst into the room in tears.

“She broke it!” Diya wailed, holding up a snapped crayon. Her cousin Manya stood nearby, looking equally stunned.

Nisha sighed. Her head throbbed, her inbox was flooding, and she was about to say, “It’s just a crayon—stop crying!”

But then she saw Diya’s little hand shaking. This wasn’t about wax and color. It was about feeling hurt.

Kneeling down, she gently said, “Hey, Diya. That was your favorite crayon, wasn’t it?”

Diya nodded, sniffling.

“It must feel really upsetting to see it broken.”

“Yes!” she hiccupped.

“I get it. I’d be sad too.”

Diya melted into her arms. After a pause, Nisha added, “Can we talk to Manya about how it happened? Maybe we can find a way to fix things together.”

The tension eased. The girls talked. Manya apologized. And instead of a meltdown, they ended up drawing with tape-repaired crayons and giggling over a silly face Nisha doodled.

That day, validation turned chaos into connection. All it took was a moment of empathy.

💬 Final Thought

Children don’t need us to fix every problem. They need to know their feelings matter. When we pause to validate before we discipline, we teach them that love doesn’t depend on perfection—it grows through understanding.

Try it today. Just say, “That must feel really…” and let the magic of empathy do the rest.