⬅︎ Parenting Tips

💡Use “do” commands instead of “don’t”—redirect behavior with clarity and positivity.

✅ Benefits of Positive Redirection

• Encourages cooperation without triggering defensiveness

• Builds language and listening skills through specific guidance

• Teaches kids what to do, not just what to avoid

• Reduces yelling and power struggles

• Reinforces self-control in a supportive way

🧠 What Research Says

Picture a toddler running around with a spoon. You shout, “Don’t run!” and what happens? They keep running—only now they’re laughing.

Why? Because “don’t” statements are vague. They tell a child to stop, but not what to start. And young brains, especially under stress or excitement, often skip the “don’t” and hear only the action word: run.

Positive redirection shifts the focus. Instead of “Don’t grab!”, say “Use gentle hands.” Instead of “Stop shouting!”, try “Talk in your indoor voice.” It’s clearer, kinder, and way more effective.

This approach supports executive function—your child’s mental ability to follow directions, manage emotions, and make choices. And when delivered with warmth, it helps children feel corrected without feeling crushed.

Over time, these positive cues become internal scripts that guide kids through tricky social moments.

📖 A Parenting Anecdote

On a cozy Sunday morning in Hyderabad, Rukmini was baking banana muffins while her three-year-old, Arya, pretended to be a dinosaur in the living room.

“RAWR! I’m a T-Rex!” Arya screamed, stomping around with great flair. Then—thud—she knocked over the laundry basket.

“Arya!” Rukmini called, peeking from the kitchen. “Don’t mess the clothes!”

Arya blinked, confused. Then roared louder and pounced on a towel.

Rukmini sighed. Then she paused. Okay, let’s try this differently.

Walking over, she knelt beside Arya and said gently, “Dinosaurs belong outside. Want to stomp on the balcony instead?”

Arya’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Balcony dino!”

Later, when Arya tried to bang a spoon on the glass table, Rukmini didn’t say, “Stop that!”—instead, she handed her a saucepan and said, “Bang this—it’s your drum!”

By evening, Arya had a new title: Chef-Rockstar Dino. And Rukmini had avoided five meltdowns with zero scolding.

💬 Final Thought

Discipline isn’t about shutting kids down—it’s about showing them the way forward. A “do” command isn’t just a rule—it’s a gift of clarity. And when we guide with hope, not fear, our kids learn to walk their path with confidence.

Today, flip one “don’t” into a “do.” You’ll be amazed at how kids bloom when told what they can do.